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Pepper Schwartz Question from Carl: I recently started dating after a divorce. He is 22, and he has heard of "dating." Question from Guest: Men with gray hair are thought to look distinguished. And they are good introductions to social networking, and a good way to ease into trying an actual dating site. » Question from Leanne from Austin: What are the rules about dating and sex today? One of those things that you can pick on is whether you and this person have similar values.

What advice would you give me as far as first date suggestions? And if waiting is important to you, I assure you there are people out there who feel the same.

Should my courtship techniques be the same as when I was in my 20s? Question from Randi: What do you think about long-distance relationships? They take a lot of attention, by e-mail, by phone, sacrificing money because the cost can become difficult.

Taking a walk, for example, can put a lot of pressure on two people who have just met. Question from Jeannie from Cleveland: My 22-year-old son lives in the house and I want to date. You might meet your early dates outside the house, or not bring them to the house unless the relationship is becoming more important. I don't think it's fair, but it's probably true that gray hair is a signal to men that a woman is older and he may or may not like her ability to embrace her own aging in that way. There are also sites that are primarily about friendship or finding someone to do things with. However, if you are conservative about sexuality, try and date someone who is also conservative about sexuality, and wants a deeper commitment first. Do something where you'll have something to talk about. On the other hand, you don't want to put your date, yourself or your son in embarrassing situations. Question from Denise: Are online dating sites good ways to meet people? You have to try different sites to see which ones feel comfortable for you, and which ones have tools that you think will create a better chance of a good relationship. But I think third date it starts to up the ante, and by the fifth date there is some pressure for some sexuality. That is to say, you are a mature woman and you want to date, so I think you need to talk to your son and tell him that you are going to start dating again. But there is more to love than hair color, and I think people pick who they love on other criteria.And it's easy to grow apart because you're not sharing day-to-day life.That said, I know people who had HUGE distances between them and survived that and ended up committed and together.So it's not easy, but if it's really important to both of you, and both of you work at it, it can have a good outcome.Question from Lois: What about trips that are only for singles?PS: I think day trips for singles are a good idea, or maybe even three days.But a longer trip, if you don't really find someone interesting, would be a problem if you were trapped, say, on a boat or mountaintop.On the other hand, if you went with a buddy, you could have fun even if there was nobody interesting there.So if you have a friend who will make any trip interesting no matter what, then give it a shot.

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