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He has never said anything about my weight but I do feel I need to lose weight.All I keep thinking about is him watching slim girls with pert breasts and flat stomachs.

Unfortunately, this is one of the commonest subjects in our mailbag.

Vast numbers of husbands and boyfriends watch porn on the Internet – often to the distress of their wives. It may well be that – like a lot of guys – your husband does love you, but also enjoys looking at naked girls.

You clearly have a very poor 'self-image' at the moment and it is desperately important that you do something to improve this.

Christine adds: Before the Internet, many happily married guys looked at porn. Or some invested in videos – or, in the pre-video age, in ‘blue movies'. Many wives are also appalled to discover that the majority of married men also masturbate from time to time.

You see, the average, normally-sexed guy is probably always going to want more sexual stimulus than the average woman can provide – especially over a long marriage. But the truth is that men do tend to compartmentalise sex much more than we women do.

It can easily just be an act of titillation or self-release that means nothing except for that moment of temporary pleasure and release of tension.I do think this is hard for some women to appreciate - but trust me, it's true. You also, by your own admission, are often tired and have little or no interest in sex.So, I think that if the two of you are going to overcome this, you need to take a long hard look at yourself and try to make things better - not just for him, but for you.I suggest firstly that you do the self-esteem test, and then take the advice that's given there when your score is calculated.I also think that you need to think about the relationship with your husband.Maybe you've stopped going out and enjoying each other's company.Maybe you've stopped seeing each other in a romantic way. A situation like the one you're in forces reappraisal.I feel that it could even be a blessing in disguise.If you take steps to improve things now, you can save this marriage.If you don't, then there is always the possibility that things will deteriorate still further.You mention your weight – clearly you're not happy with it.

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