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Online dating has become increasingly de-stigmatized, but there are many who still aren't comfortable having their photo online and publicly admitting they need help finding a mate: the powerful, the wealthy, and the well-known to name a few.And though you'd think they would have fewer problems than us mere mortals in finding a significant other, apparently they suffer the same slings, arrows and bad dates as the rest of us.
Women are generally not the clients but potential matches for the men; and in most cases, they simply pay an application or interview fee.
I don't think this is any sexist plot by the modern day Dolly Levi's, only a reflection of a dating dynamic that is still alive and well -- at least where well-to-do men are concerned.
I spoke recently with three matchmakers, Richard Easton, Janis Spindel and Samantha Daniels.
Though New York based, all work with clients across the country (and internationally), and Daniels keeps an LA office as well.
All offer a unique perspective and approach to their services, and all have toe-curling prices. From $25,000-$100,000, depending on the matchmaker and your deal. Matchmaker Richard Easton, new to the New York market and an anomaly among matchmakers -- most are women -- says he challenges the price resistance he sometimes encounters with a car analogy.
"I'm working with guys who pay 0 grand for a car without the blink of an eye.So I ask them, 'What's 50K to find your life partner? He does offer a K starter rate for young Wall St. A personable former head of his own boutique M&A firm, Easton has parlayed his expertise in marrying companies into the more rewarding realm of marrying hearts and minds.He says he offers a different perspective on the art cum science."Men feel more comfortable with me, they will say things to me that they won't say to a woman, about what they're looking for, what works and doesn't." Putting on my marketing hat, it does make sense that that his branding appeals to masculine sensibilities, with nary a heart or pink flower in sight.Janis Spindel, the doyenne of New York matchmaking, might disagree.A smart, sassy tsunami of self-confidence, Spindel has the chutzpa and sixth sense needed to ferret out the perfect match for her clients .She'll approach anyone woman who fits the bill -- in gyms, Barneys, a parking garage, on the street. I've made a good living and have never targeted wealthy men as suitors. They suited my creative sensibilities, and I've also thought that if I were with someone wealthy I would give up some of my power.A former fashion sales director, she boasts an uncanny ability to know who is right for whom. I've never understood how people can marry for money, not love.With hundreds of marriages and countless relationships in her 17 year career, her combination of intuition, persuasion, and calculation -- a quick up and down glance can tell her a lot -- are her stock in trade. "You get invited, you go." So said Samantha Daniel's grandmother when she was a girl, and she's been going ever since, attending events, fundraisers, dinners, reunions -- not to directly sell or recruit, but to network. A former divorce attorney, Daniels traded acrimony for harmony, deciding she'd rather bring people together than break them apart. That would be torture for me -- a waste of good years of my life.She launched her agency in New York 11 years ago, then set up an office in L. after going there to produce the TV show based on her life, "Miss Match." Very social in both cities, she takes on high profile women as paying clients as well -- studio heads, CEO's, and other successful women who need equally successful -- or incredibly well- adjusted -- men who will not be intimidated by their success. So we'll see if these matchmakers come up with the goods. If you see me in a restaurant with a 78-year-old, you'll know it was a set-up.And Daniel's former career gives her great insight into what breaks couples up (number one: poor communication), so she can offer clear-headed advice as clients embark upon relationships or marriage.