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Dating a coloured guy

Half of my mother’s four sisters are married to white men.My cousins can be split into two groups: Ones who grew up with weaves and skin lighteners and ones who needed sunscreen and haircuts.

I wondered how men with such delicate bodies seemed to be the only ones who could endure the storm. We bought crop tops, tight jeans, and earrings so big that they touched our shoulders.

When my cousin on the all-black side birthed a baby girl whose father had become abusive, we took a long ride to a shopping mall. On the ride home we were quiet and I decided I would never date a black man as long as my feet touched this earth.

She was looking to me for advice on raising a fatherless child, considering my firsthand experience. It was like that for a while—dismissing every suitor who resembled my father.

We rolled down the windows in her beat-up car and took in as much air as we could. Every black girl I knew was saying, “Get yourself a white man,” as though they were selling out quick.

The only girl in my group of black girlfriends who had a boyfriend was dating a white boy who was white enough to have a family that hated black people. We would sit squished in a row behind them with all of our smirks perfectly even as they drove us home.

The year before I graduated college, black boys started dying on TV: Trayvon Martin, then Eric Garner, then Michael Brown, then Tamir Rice.

There was something about watching a black boy murdered from the comfort of my home that made me want to go out and love a black man as hard as I could, as though somehow it could resurrect the child in him.

I started dating my first official black boyfriend, a neuroscientist, shortly after.

He was gentle in a very straightforward way, pulling out chairs for me at restaurants and picking me up after work to take me to exhibition openings, where he would look at me instead of looking at the art.

He supported my work and called me Butterfly; our relationship was nauseatingly blissful. I posted photos of black love on every social media account and considered myself as part of a larger revolution.

Comments Dating a coloured guy

  • WTF Things Black Women Have Heard When Dating White People
    Reply

    Feb 13, 2017. Whether you're the best athlete of all time i.e. Serena Williams or a revered actress like Hlubi Mboya, when you are a black woman dating a white person, somebody somewhere will have something to say about it. Our political history fuels the scrutiny of interracial relationships. After all, South Africa is the.…

  • WTF Things White Women Have Heard When Dating Black People
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    Feb 20, 2017. Last week, we wrote two stories on the things black women hear when dating white people and the reaction was incredible. While some people seemed to appreciate us. 5. "Will your coloured children have coloured accents?". "He's an old black guy who just saw his chance to get lucky with a white girl.".…