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Application form for dating my daughter
This application was written by Savi Pearl formally known as Ms.
Here is her note in it’s entirety: Upon my discovery of the news, I engaged (no pun intended) in several conversations with my [friends].
We all agreed that this lucky man, upon our introduction to him, will be scrutinized to ridicule and interrogation.
I then began to wonder, “How, in our hectic lives, can my [girls] and I keep in contact to ensure that the respective man that any of us are involved with is the correct one? Please understand that I only want my [girls] to be with the best man for them, thus, the application process is highly selective, and several applicants may not get past question three.
But hey, if you want to get with my [girls,] you need to be top quality, so try to do better.
Please read on (there are twenty questions,) leave comments and suggestions if you like, but understand…this application comes from a place of love.
Name:__________________________________________________________ Birthday:_____________________________________________ (If born [10 years before she was born,] just go ahead and stop right here Pops, unless you have a credit score of over 800 for all three credit reporting agencies) SSN:___________-___________-_________________ Questions 1.) What is your highest level of education? All we need to do is make sure that you can match your clothes correctly and speak using proper English. Taye Diggs (If you responded (a) or (b) to this question, SLAP YOURSELF IN THE MOUTH!
_____________________________ (If below a Bachelors Degree, please STOP, unless you have a credit score of over 800 for all three credit reporting agencies) 2.) What is your current occupation? Equifax_______________ (Please note, anything less than an 800 is subject to further review. Also, please list the names of 20 of your single friends who have the same credit score as you…there are people waiting to meet them). The correct answer is [Insert Any One of My [[Girl’s] Names]. Fugees (If you responded (a), you might be a little too thuggish to kick it with my [girl.] If you responded (b), you might have a little too much freak in you to kick it with my girl, but then again, I know some who wouldn’t mind…If you responded (c), you just might make it, but don’t get your hopes up). I’m hungry (If you chose any of these, just stop filling out the application…seriously) 8.) Some essential items to have for a romantic date are a.
_______________________________ (Please note, you will need to submit two paystubs to verify full time or part time employment. 4.) Are you associated with any Greek organizations? __________________________________ 5.) In your opinion, who is prettier? If you responded (c), you might not like any of my [girls] for that matter, because we all have ovaries). 7.) When you see the word “karat”, you automatically think a. Sand, the sound of waves hitting the shore, starlight, moonlight b.
All paid amounts must include a comma in their total) 3.)What is your credit score? 6.) Whose comeback album are you anticipating more? A happy meal box, a toy that won’t choke children under the age of three, a coupon c. _________________________ 16.) Are you a midget/vertically challenged person? If you are funny, are you sure people are laughing with you and not at you? Yes No (If you respond yes to this question, the 24 Hour fitness on Slauson is hiring…please refer to 24 NO NO’S Note) 20.) Do you know the significance of this year for [African American as a people]? Please reapply in 2108) AND THE OH SO IMPORTANT QUESTION 21 21.) Do you enjoy the show “America’s Most Wanted”?
Whatever currency is in my [Friend’s] purse (If you chose (a), it may work, but anytime I smell sand, I have a sudden urge to start reciting…If you chose (b) or (c)…get out) 9.) Please write the make, model and year of your current mode of transportation ________________________________________________________________ (If the answer to this question is Los Angeles MTA 2008…you already know what I am going to say) 10.) Do you have any collections listed on your credit report? Yes No 12.) Are you so close to your mother that her room is down the hallway from yours because you still live with her? Yes No (If you do have children, please make sure that they are well behaved, and even then, your acceptance is on a case by case basis. Yes No (If you are a midget, please note that you are limited to ace clubs only, and even then you may not have a chance) 17.) Have you ever, or will you ever, have a grill on your teeth, but no gas in your car? Yes No (If you respond yes to this question, is the reason you like the program because you are often the star of the show? If yes…ummm…we are no longer accepting applications for this position.