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The fastest path to scoring a date is to stand out from the crowd.

It seems like these nine funny singles took things a little bit too far.

" "Possibly the last person you want to be stood next to at a house-party you’ve been dragged along to by a friend who wants to get off with the flatmate of the guy whose birthday it is. It makes me appear more attractive and personable than I actually am.

With you, however, I’m going to be a belligerent old shit from the very beginning.

That’s because I like you and feel ready to give you honesty.

Belligerent old shit (M, 53)" "When not in my London city office overseeing the day-to-day business of my successful accountancy firm, I can be found leaning inside taxi cabs, spitting wild obscenities and challenging the drivers to fisticuffs." Now you’ve seen the funniest dating personal ads on the web, see if you can do better with your own phone dating chat welcome message.

 Should you mention your snoring, your dexterity with the flute, your knobby knees? Twelve years ago, I took a chance and wrote a personal ad.

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